Worrying is easy – but resolving the causes of worry is another thing. One can worry endlessly about money, love or work without anything changing. This is because the real problems are deeper than that. So even as current worries are solved, new worries take their place while the roots of worry remain hidden.
There are many reasons why this is so. Perhaps one is a habitual worrier. Worries simply weave their way through the person’s life, leaving them exhausted by their own thoughts. Or a person may focus intensely on solving ordinary problems while avoiding deeper issues that feel too overwhelming to contemplate.
In both these cases, one’s anxiety doesn't go away. And someone plagued by excess worry may adopt coping mechanisms that backfire, such as drinking too much, working too hard, focusing on someone too much, or other habits. Ultimately, this makes one’s real problems worse.
People are creatures of habit, and the idea of facing one’s deeper worries can seem formidable. But it doesn’t always have to be so hard. Here are some ways people can help themselves face their deeper worries and regain control over their lives:
1) Find a safe person to talk to who can listen. Verbalizing one's problems rather than keeping them inside is therapeutic. Something that eats you alive inside can feel less toxic when exposed to the light of day.
2) If the idea of talking to others is too much, one can talk therapeutically to oneself by journaling. Or one can use other methods of self-expression, such as writing poetry or songs or developing an art project. These can can lead to greater insight into one’s fears and worries.
3) Break routine. Meditate, exercise, go on a trip, plant a garden, visit old friends or do something one has always wanted to do. Do it now. Unhooking one’s mind from the numbing routine of everyday worrying is invaluable.
Finally, consider speaking with a therapist. Therapists are trained to listen to people in ways that support a person’s being more in control of their lives. Remember - you don’t have to do it all alone!