Do you know someone who burns too hot or cold? Are they difficult to be around? Just as a candle relies on the right mixture of fuel and oxygen to create a steady flame, a person needs to balance their thoughts and emotions in order to lead a productive and peaceful life.
Some people live their lives too passionately. They react to others and take themselves too seriously. They create expectations that they and others find impossible to meet. Their lives are often full of drama. Conversely, some people are withdrawn. They are quiet and may be overlooked. They live to much within their own heads that they can end up isolated and lonely. Even if they have a creative inner life, they may feel empty.
Burning too hot or too cold are both ways to avoid seeing oneself. They often are related to a person's current and past conditioning, frequently originating from early family life. At other times, these behaviors have a more biological basis.
Changing self-avoidant patterns involves allowing new experiences into one's life while letting go of habitual routines and responses. Practically speaking, this may mean limiting relationships that are draining and engaging with people who are nourishing.
Other examples include carving out high-quality alone time, keeping a journal or starting a new physical routine. Developing a spiritual path also promote change. So can travel. Visiting a doctor to rule out any biological causes is also helpful. And of course, therapy can also provide support.
Anyone can begin to take one or more of these steps towards a more balanced and happy life. However, the most important step is to start today.