“I'll have a Blue Christmas without you
I'll be so blue just thinking about you
Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree
Won't be the same dear, if you're not here with me. . .”
Many people find themselves dwelling on memories of those who have gone from our lives during the holiday season. Especially if you are lonely, troubled or far away from those you love, December can be a time of sadness and grief. Watching others enjoy their holidays can make this feeling even more intense.
Remembering the past is not necessarily bad – its how the past is remembered. Here are a few ways to make those memories work for you instead of against you.
1) Try to experience gratitude for the memory of the person you miss having been in your life. Carry them inside you in a more positive way. Most likely, they would like you to remember them fondly and gratefully.
2) Refocus on those who have been good to you this year. It is easy to not acknowledge those whom we see us every day. Make a point to let others know you appreciate them.
3) Treat yourself extra special. Remember what makes you happy, and what makes you feel peaceful.
4) Think about your focus in the new year. This is a way to help dig your mind out of the past. New goals, ideas, plans – these have a life of their own.
5) If you are really still hurting, just grieve. But make sure you share it with supportive friends and/or relatives. All people have the capacity to relate to loss, especially around the holidays. If no one is available to talk to and you are feeling trapped in sadness, please call a therapist or other healthcare professional.