Intimacy can seem unattainable, but often the reasons for this are often not the ones you think are obvious. For instance, do you work to much? Watch TV most evenings, spend more than you earn? Party a little too hardy? These are common substitutes for closeness. They may bring a temporary measure of pleasure, power or satisfaction, but keep one from facing the lack in one's life.

Finding intimacy is not only ditching your vices, but first being willing to face and replace them. There are reasons that you have developed these habitual responses to your need for intimacy. To go there can be scary, but it can change your life. A word of caution - don't go there all alone. Talk to a friend, therapist, family member or other trusted person about what you really want, and how to get there.

Warm Regards, Cheryl Deaner, LMFT 36764