CherylDeaner
1148 Stanford Ave, Emeryville, California 94608
Hours
By appointment only

415 282 2200

Dealing with Difficult People, Tips 7 through 10

7) Are you truly able to listen?  Not listening and not understanding can lead to shouting, withdrawal and hurt feelings.  Listen to the person without interrupting and look at them.  When they are completely done, ask if  you can repeat back to them what you heard for clarification.

8)
It is human to confuse fighting with caring, especially if this was what was modeled in one's family. This “negative caring” can lead to full-out relationship war. Is it easier to fight than communicate? If so, seek more positive ways of caring as quickly as you can.

9) You can't always get another person to seek help so you may have to do the changing.  But don't worry – if you change, they will have to change over time. Relationships are like any other system – if you change your output, it follows that the system will change.

10)  Is your life out of balance? Is it possible you are so caught up with your career, other people, hobbies and activities that you are neglecting your most important relationships? Do you spend much less quality time with the difficult person than you once did?

Relationships more than anything else help us grow and mature in life. They polish off our rough edges and support us to live longer and happier lives.

Often, the most powerful secret to changing another person's behavior is simply to treat them differently. It is often the fastest and best way to get out of a nasty situation with someone you care about.

Have a Great Week!
Cheryl